i just realized that all of my closest friends are taken. this is odd considering how i’m usually surrounded by single people due to my involvement in KCCC. but, maybe this is why i feel extra lonely and want a girlfriend more than ever these days. i always feel like the second best, the third wheel, the tag-along, etc., and that, i tell you, is not a pleasant feeling. i’ve never felt lonely or desperate during high school despite my four years of single life, yet i find myself sulking in my forever-aloneness and desperately looking for a potential somebody in college. i get insecure when i realize that i won’t be able to make a move or make her like me back even if i find someone anyway. then, i realize how lonely i am and then sulk in my forever-aloneness some more.
it’s not that i want to have a girlfriend just so that i can show off or do cute things with her. sure, cute dates and inside jokes and late-night phone calls would be nice, but i am looking for something more. i want to genuinely care for my special someone. i get irritated when i see couples being cute, but i get jealous when i see a guy subtly taking care of his girlfriend. i want to be that guy who subtly but always cares for his girlfriend who deserves the best.
until i find that girl, however, i just have to wait and become the guy who deserves that amazing girl. God has already planned that girl in my life, and i just have to wait until my time comes. yes, God has a wonderful plan and a wonderful girl for me.
but, i can’t help it that i’m so lonely right now… someone find me a girl!
“For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to since once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”—Romans 6:9-11